I'm sorry. I'm so so so so sorry. I realize that in the past I've been a bit of a... how you say? A... trial, let's say, but I completely understand your justly earned wrath this time.
Remember how when we first talked about moving in together? And I very seriously and candidly told you that I had a Santa collection that I was terribly fond of? And that I put it out around Halloween and keep it up for two months? And how you were like "Pfffft, that's not a deal breaker." Well... I think now you understand.
I'm very sorry about all the Santas. I really am. If I didn't love them so much I'd just as soon leave them in the boxes all year long.
Additionally... I'm very sorry about the whole "injury" thing. And making you load all the Santa boxes from my car up to the loft. I really hate it for you. But I hurt my leg and couldn't lift anything! How was I supposed to move all those very many very heavy boxes on my own? It just wasn't possible. I'm so sorry you were the one who had to tote them all upstairs. Then tote the empty boxes down to storage. It's a shame. But couldn't be helped.
While we're on the subject of injuries, let me please apologize to you again for making you steal from a church. I needed that rosemary! And I couldn't walk down to the church to cut it myself! Just think of it as "pruning" their rosemary. They'll never miss it! Besides, it really is overgrown so honestly you were really doing them a favor. And didn't that meatloaf taste delicious with the nice addition of some lovely rosemary? Hmmm? But again... sorry to ask you to sneak down with scissors and surreptitiously cut some rosemary.
And while we're on the subject of apologies, let me also apologize about No Pants Nights in the loft. So sorry. But how am I supposed to heat, exercise and ice my hamstring wearing dumb pants? YOU CAN'T, that's how. I guess me shrieking "No pants night!!" every night when I come home doesn't help much either.... sorry. I'll really work harder on that.
In conclusion, let me sum up with: I'm very sorry about all the Santas. But aren't they festive? And if you'd like I can give you a walking tour of each one of them - where it came from, who gave it, etc. No? Ok... well, when you're ready, we'll talk.
In the meantime, allow me to wish you a very Happy Holidays. I don't think this is the best time to discuss renewing our lease? No? Ok... I'll come back later.
Very truly yours,
Megan
P.S. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
P.P.S. Here is a very funny picture that will probably make no sense to anyone but me and Sharon:
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