Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I think my hair dryer is trying to kill me

Actual conversation from years ago at a friend's house in Sarasota, Fla.:

Amanda, stomping in the room: YOUR HAIRDRYER ALMOST SET MY HAIR ON FIRE.

Me: What are you talking about?

Amanda: IT SPITS SPARKS.

Me: No, it doesn't, it just makes funny clickey sounds every now and again.

Amanda: OTHERWISE KNOWN AS FIRE.

Me: Oh, you took the diffuser off. I always use it with the diffuser, and it doesn't get sparks on me.

Kristina: I THOUGHT I saw a spark come out of it yesterday when I used it! Megan, that hair dryer is dangerous!!

Me: No, not if you use the diffuser -  you put it on and it covers the blowey hole.

Rachel: What are y'all talking about?

Kristina: Megan is the proud owner of a deadly hair dryer and is refusing to throw it away.

Me: It's got a hunk of plastic covering the top! It's fine!

Amanda: The hunk of plastic being held together with duct tape?

Me: It's fine! The sparks can't get to my hair!

Rachel: Oh my God, Megan you are using a flame thrower as a hairdryer? And you're ok with this? Give it to me. (throws in the trash) Now go buy a new hairdryer.

Fast forward about five years, in my bathroom at home yesterday:

Me, out of the shower drying my hair with my hairdryer procured in Florida on that trip, bent over double, drying away. I notice a small blister on one toe and when I reached out to touch it my forearm brushed against the cord of the newer hairdryer.

And it electrocuted me. ELECTROCUTED ME.

All of a sudden I remembered the flame thrower hairdryer and the one time I borrowed my father's hair dryer and it sucked all my long hair up in the intake on the back of it and I had to cut myself free from the hairdryer. What am I doing to amass this stockpile of deadly hairdryers?

I'm so confused. Over and out.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Today I feel part spook, part pixie, and part Christmas elf

Halloween has once again come and gone, and yes I watched my favorite Halloween movies (Nightmare Before Christmas and Practical Magic) about 500 times. Apiece. And yes, Sharon and I once again planned and pulled off an epic Halloween party. Let's get to it!

This year's theme was the movie Clue. If you don't know that movie, you are missing out - Netflix it immediately! Sharon was super cute about everything and designed these invitations to go in them:

wallace paper company, ya'll.... look into it.

Sharon and I, naturally, waited until the last minute and made our costumes ourselves. Seriously, I was up until midnight two nights that week.

mrs. white and miss scarlett. 


pretty good likeness, i must say

And, in the spirit of the evening, we both attempted to kill each other.

it is halloween after all.

Then, we made peace, but we still were pretty wary of each other.

keeping a weather eye out for a sneak attack

 Fun time with family and friends!

johnna as dia del muerta sugar skull, mrs. white, miss scarlett and regina as the billiard room

philippa as professor plum and me as her nemesis, dr. plum
 
this picture is reason 100 million my mother is adorable: selfie with johnna after a pee break powwow.

During the evening I was preparing another cookie sheet of pizza rolls to go in the oven (don't judge). As soon as the oven was heated, I went to slide the sheet in when it tipped and all the pizza rolls fell into the bottom of the oven. Quickly, friend Felicia and I got them out of the 425 degree oven, including the ones that fell into the warming drawer below.

Or so I thought.

I woke Monday morning to three missed phone calls and four frantic text messages from Sharon. All along the lines of MOUSE!!! MOUSE!!!! YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO COOK IN MY OVEN EVER EVER EVER AGAIN THERE IS A MOUSE AND THE DOG IS USELESS!!!!

that's a mouse enjoying him some delicious delicious pizza roll. 

 Oh wait! Speaking of mice:

I'M SO TOTALLY GOING TO DISNEY WORLD IN THE SPRING!!!!

To pregame for my upcoming Disney visit, friend Kristi invited me and the Leading Lady to partake on the newly opened Disney on Ice Princesses and Heroes and Frozen and a Bunch Of Other Stuff where People Lip-Sync Badly to Every Disney Song Ever.

It was pretty awesome. Check out the four princess out for a night on the town:

kristi and bunny were kind enough to bring loaner tiaras.

And yes. The Disney College Program indoctrinated me. It did. I drank the Kool-Aide. And I can sing pretty much just about every song they played the other night. And I tried my very hardest to sing as loudly as I could without drowning out the children singing and attracting the attention of their non-princess-ey attired parents. At one point Bunny shrieked "PETER PAN!!!" when a new musical scene started and some sailors came out, and I said "No, that's Little Mermaid." When she retorted with a "NU-UH!" I pointed out Prince Eric AND the fact that the sailors were sailors, not pirates, and they were singing "Fathoms Below." (way to sic burn on a 7-year-old, Megan!)  Sooner or later Kristi noticed I was singing EVERY SONG so I blamed it on my years working at the park, but then when Frozen started - and I was still singing - she knew the truth. I just really really really REALLY like Disney movies.

and i'm super super stoked about my upcoming trip to the land of the mouse!

And speaking of the Leading Lady, she's bad to run off with my phone and when I get it back it's full of pics like this:

not my toothy grins

not my feet

not my funny faces

So now it's once again holiday season YES I SAID IT. It is; Santa went into the mall today officially so I'm having none of your "too soon!" rain on my parade. My SANTA CLAUS parade.

they're heeeeeereee.....

Lastly, I leave you with this. The girls are chasing each others' tails:

you guys are both playing a losing game.

And that's all I got for today. Over and OUT!