At least I still am working on my bucket list

So this is a big bad rocky time in my life. I'll just say it. Anyone who's had to get divorce - you have my support and admiration. This super-sucks. But I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and lo and behold - I'm actually moving forward.

I've lost a lot that I held dear. But I've learned a lot too. Whenever I find myself angry or sad I take a minute and remind myself that nothing is ever as good or as bad as it seems. I've been following closely another rule for living quite often, and I find it exeedingly helpful: "When overwhelmed by disaster, check if it's really a disaster by doing the following: (a) think, "Oh, fuck it," (b) look on the bright side, and if that doesn't work then look on the funny side. If all of the above don't work, then maybe it is a disaster."

I'm looking at the funny side a lot these days.

And in spite of the holes in my heart and the learning curve, I keep reminding myself that I'm gaining a lot too. Things that wouldn't have happened without a disaster. I am spending a lot of time with these two monkeys lately:

i myself am not a monkey



 

Playing the role of fun Aunt Megan scored me an invitation to a hip hopping Valentine's Day dance party too. It wasn't until I arrived that I discovered that it was less of a "dance" and  more of a "chase."

  

it was seriously a madhouse. i could only keep track of one child at a time for a maximum of about five seconds.

 

And work is fun. Been busy there doing lots of events. 

 



me and a co-worker with 156 orange, white and lady vols blue luftballoons

I recently took a trip to Asheville, and found this on the ground. Who accidentally spills bacon wrapped asparagus? What a waste. Swine around the world are offended.

 

anywhere else in america it would be a cheeseburger on the ground

 



I met new people, including celebrities!

the lady in the middle is a famous lady!

 

see? that's her!

 

It was Valentine's weekend and the hotel I stayed at had this sweet little birdcage display where you could write down something mushy and clip it to the birdcage. I thought it was an excellent opportunity to introduce my new word to the world.

 

blurgh. it encompasses a wide range of emotions.

 

Despite losing friends, I'm gaining friends too. Sometimes in the strangest of places - the lady who makes my bagelwiches. The guy who runs the radio station. The gal who runs the bookstore. The innkeeper in Asheville who took pity on me and let me in his bed and breakfast to peruse his miniscule gift shop.

 

And I'm learning that there is a balance in life, and the right people come into our lives at the right time, for the right reasons. Please meet Regina:



 

hi regina! that is one sweet-ass ride!

 

Regina has spent the last few months checking something off her own bucket list - living in an RV. She has now officially been there, done that. And needs a place to live. Say whaaaa? I need a place to live too!

 

unfortunately we don't live here

 

 

But we do live somewhere almost as equally fabulous and spectacular and fun and exciting and ohmygodisthisreallyhappening?

 

Welcome to my bucket list.

 

Growing up in Knoxville, I have always wanted to live downtown. ALWAYS. Even when it was a dump. I have a very vivid memory as a child pointing a downtown building out to my father and telling him that was where I was going to live as a grownup. I believe there was a drunk on the stoop but never you mind that! I was going to make that happen.

 

When we moved back to Knoxville, I tried as hard as I could to find something affordable and liveable for two people downtown, but nothing we could afford was liveable for two people.

 

That building I wanted to live in when I was a girl has been renovated into condos today. I don't live there, but - I do live down the street.

 

SQEEEEEEE!!!! BUCKET LIST CHECK! BUCKET LIST CHECK!!!

 

To end, and proof positive that the world is being turned upside down and on its head, my sweet mama sent me the most wonderful quote the other day that she found on the internet (read: Pinterest). It contained an f bomb. Being a fan of the well-placed f bomb, and learning to love the new upside down world, I found the quote both appropriate and amusing:

 

"Want to find out who your friends are? Fuck up and see who's there."

 

I never knew my mother could be so eloquent.











Hug Buddies

It sounds silly, but at work I have a Hug Buddy. We don't have much in common. Just a need to be hugged, really hugged and hugged good every now and again. No appointment necessary. Just show up, and you get hugged.

Sometimes, my Hug Buddy cries when I hug her. And I pat her head and hold her and tell her that crying isn't allowed at work. She sucks it up and I scrunch her face and we go back about our day.

Today, she held me while I cried on her shoulder. And she patted my head and held me and reminded me that crying isn't allowed at work. I told her it was a trick and that I was just testing her.

My head knows things will be better. I know I'll be fine. It's just hard to think my way out of a paper bag these days.

I invented a new word for this time in my life: blurgh. It's quite all encompassing. Try using it in a sentance.

The Day I Officially Have Lost It

Sometimes you need a someone outside of your own skin to notice when something is amiss inside your skin. Like the time I didn't have my period for nine weeks and I went to the doctor and the first thing the doctor ever said was "What's going on in your life?" and I replied "I bought my first house. My grandmother just died. I started my first semester of graduate school."

After a moment of silence, the doctor gently suggested that maybe I was under a little stress. It didn't occur to me until then. He proceed to back slowly out of the door in case I then spontaneously combusted.

Speaking of dead grandmothers (said no one ever except for me) that also reminds me of the time I lived in Atlanta and my grandmother had a stroke. I was raised with a strong work ethic, and short of throwing up on your boss (which I totally almost did the other day - he quite literally dodged a bullet) your butt is at your desk come hell or high water. So I took the news soberly, suited up and headed into town. I had told no fewer than three people about my poor granny when finally a friend asked what was up with my earrings. I had on one pretty dangle from the French Market in New Orleans, and one bright orange Power T. Hm. Someone's not paying attention, methinks...

Yesterday, I agreed to give Mr. Smith some breathing room and ran home to pack for the Venable Casa. I hurridly thought out the four or five outfits I'd need in the coming days and slapped them in a bag. I ran out the door in the nick of time, met a friend for happy hour and proceeded to the Venable Casa some hours later.

It wasn't until I walked in the door that I realized the bag I packed was still at home. Sigh. I promptly threw everything I had on into the washing machine and maybe everyone thinks I just had a wild night out and made it back to work sleepless and in the same clothes.

I think I'm stressed. Until the day comes that I'm not, I choose to believe this:

thanks dan. words of wisdom.