Megan Venable: Turns out that grace is not a superpower I possess

Last weekend was the annual trek up Mt. LeConte with my parent's church family. Last year I went up with them by myself, but this year I was lucky to have the company of friends Regina and Sharon.

before we hit the trail. everyone's face pretty much sums up how the hike went for each of us.

Neither Sharon nor Regina had made this hike before so I tried to be very helpful and tell them what they should pack up to the lodge. But then I made fun of both of them when they packed things like bug spray. And bite kits. And ponchos and bandaids and wet wipes and makeup and etc., etc., etc. You get the idea.

We hiked up and back the Alum Cave trail. It is the most beautiful trail up in my opinion - just so much stuff to see. I hiked up last in December with one Pretty Princess and although I hated to miss her on this trip, a part of her was with me - her old hiking shoes she left behind after her visit!

Sites and sounds from the trip:

sharon channelling her inner baby a la dirty dancing (yes she did this over every foot bridge we crossed. and we crossed a lot of them.)

It wasn't very hot, but I love all things water, so nothing would do when we got to Arch Rock but to take off shoes and play in the creek. I thought the three of us could reprise the Sirens from O Brother Where Art Thou, but the ladies were having none of it.

regina is a bathing beauty

i'm sure i'm saying something profound here

the trail goes up through the rock over sharon's shoulder

mama and dipsey show up while we're splashing around

we press on from arch rock to inspiration point

the weather was awesomesauce - it's not usually this clear and dry

just one of the eleventy billion pictures we took that day of the incredible views

We stopped for lunch along the trail and ate sitting on a wet log from which we founded the Wet Butt Society. Regina had a wet butt from her experience at Arch Rock, so she was a senior member, while newbies Sharon and I are only junior members. I also proceeded to make further fun of the non-necessities they had packed only to have karma bite me in the (wet) butt when I stood up I planted my hand right in a big splotch of wet sap. Regina kindly offered me a wet wipe, but I insisted that wet wipes are for pussies and I de-sapped myself the old fashioned way:

if i rubbed it long enough the sap came right off. i also told them that i was going to brush my teeth that night with pinetree branch because toothbrushes are for divas.

we make it to the top!

Once I get up, I like to clean up real quick before you get cold. We ran through quick wash downs and then - the ceremonial washing of the hair.

excuse me for wanting to practice good hygiene

Then, games! Molly teaches us how to play dominoes - and now I own dominoes. It was a very fun game. Regina, Sharon and I played with three teenagers, Molly, Laura and Phillip. When I shrieked, LET'S HAVE A CHERRY STEM TYING CONTEST five hands flew into the bag of cherries I had on the table and Regina commentated and ten seconds later Sharon and I tied for the win. The youngsters were understandably impressed.

dominoes and cherry stems makes for a fun game day

laura caught me a pet mosquito i named paris hilton

regina wins dominoes

i win dominoes!

and sharon has a pet deer

roommate love at supper time

mama and sharon at supper

and us with the dipper!

sunset at clifftops

sunrise at clifftops!

post church sunday morning

double fisting tea at breakfast

one last pic before time to hike back down to civilization

We had been hiking for about thirty minutes before I slipped on a wet rock and fell right slap off the trail. It scared the hell out of everyone, especially me. I had that split second thinking where you're able to think about twelve things all at once, and they all mostly were of the "oh shit is this really happening yup I'm falling right off this trail" variety. But fortunately:

the dear stpbj saw fit to grow this tree in just the right spot some years ago and the tree broke my fall

Wait. Was it the STPBJ, or was it:

zen baby d. oh, zen baby d, what is the meaning of life?

Sharon's trail name was Zen Baby D because she has plans to build an ashram at Gracie's Pulpit, shave her head and live a life of silent reflection. Regina's trail name was Chummy (short for Chumbawumba) cause when she got knocked down, she got up again. You ain't never gonna keep her down. I was Pants on Fire because allegedly I exaggerate things like "how much further?" "Just over that ridge!" and "This is the steepest part of the hike. Honest!"

Although I landed in moss and was completely unscathed even though I fell off a mountain, the fall did create one casualty: