Sunday, July 7, 2013

30 years of note passing has perfected my skillz. And they are mad.

Yesterday I went to leave a note on the community notepad in the loft, and after my quick scribble I flipped through the notes I'd been leaving Regina over the last few months.

Evidently I leave hilarious notes. In my head I do anyway. Here's my favorites:

"WHO IS FABULOUS TODAY? Hint - mirrors are involved. - M"

"Ok off to run a few, back by 10 then I'll swiffer the shit out of this mother fucker. Then brunch at 11:30? Then play? Smooches, M." (Regina drew in check yes or no boxes and checked "yes." Because brunch.)

"Regina. Did you do this?
Please for the love of god say 'yes' because if you say 'no' that means WE HAVE A GODDAMN MOUSE. OR RAT. OR FUCKING RACCOON.
If 'yes' please cut this in two and bag. If 'no' please fucking burn my nice loaf of bread with gasoline. Outside of course. A FIREMAN is coming to supper.
JESUS."

"Blood is different that vomit." (I.... Have nothing on yet one but it's definitely my handwriting.

"I am the loudest most dreadfullest roommate ever an I am sorry! I try and tippy toe but I am an elephant! And I yell at the neighbors but they are jerks and deserve it. But you do not. I am very sorry and am about to pick up all the recycling and it is noisy. So so so sorry! Shhhh! Megan! Sh!
I never listen. XO-M"

"Eggs, G2, fabreeze." (I do leave a few normal notes)

"DEATH TO ALL SICK BASTARDS. Don Draper, I'm looking at YOU. Mother fucker.
P.S. Sick fuck."

"Off to the grocery, back in a flash. Dinner in Westeros? Oh, I bought us a present! Play hide the pickle and see of you can find it! XO-M"

"KNIFE. Remember we own KNIVES.  If we need to practice cutting bread we can. XO-M"

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