Do-er of things... EVEN IN MY SLEEP.

I have very few skills that are based solely on all-natural talent. And none of my all natural talents are even remotely marketable, which is a shame. For instance, I can find four-leaf clovers like nobody's business; I can spot them out of the corner of my eye. It's gotten to where I don't even bother to pick them anymore (they wilt quickly).

Addtionally, I have an automatic, internal alarm clock. If I want to wake up at 2 AM, I will sit up in bed at 2 that morning. I don't rely on it, I do set my alarm clock every night. I am only human, and I have overslept before (I can think of about three times, but I doubt it's been more than five times that I have overslept in my life). But usually, I wake up a few minutes before the alarm goes off.

Which brings me to this morning.

Friend Chrissy works at our local NPR station. It's the bi-annual fund drive this week, and I know she's working around the clock for the next several days. I offered to bring an egg casserole to her and the volunteers working the first shift on my way into the gym at about 6 AM this morning. I planned it well - prepped a yummy egg casserole last night before bed, and set my alarm for two times - 4:30 AM (to turn on the oven and put the casserole in) and 5:30 AM (to get up, deliver casserole and go to the gym).

Which was why I was shocked when my alarm went off at 5:30 AM, and I flew out of bed and ran to the kitchen frantically thinking NONONONONONONO I'M GONNA BE SO LATE MY ALARM DIDN'T GO OFF THEY'RE GOING TO THINK I'M A FLAKY NON-EGGY-MEATY-CHEESY-YUM-YUM-LESS JERK!!!!! when all of a sudden.... the oven made a noise.... and I stopped short.... and opened the oven....

To this:

holy crap. i did this in my SLEEP ya'll.

So my alarm did go off at 4:30 AM. And because I have internal clockage, I was all like "Nope, Self, you do NOT have to wake up yet, just scamper quick like a bunny into the kitchen, turn on the oven and slap that sucker in. Back to bed with you!" So. Not only am I funny in my sleep, not only do I hear messes being made in my sleep, I can COOK IN MY SLEEP. Totally have the makings of a badass superhero.

And yes, I did pledge while I was at the radio station, but was still sort of agog about my sleep cooking because I'm pretty sure I signed the pledge form "Evil Queen Megan Kittenlord" hoping they'd read it on the air like that, but I'm not sure if they did.

ION, remember my recent rant about peeling the epoxy off my shower walls? I got a handful of "Da fuc you do that for?" Qs about that being a real "thing" and was feeling very uncomfortable about my abnormal propensity to pick, UNTIL I SAW THIS ON MAD MEN:

see? totally normal. bobby, brother, i feel your pain.

New friend Sharon and I are officially thick as thieves these days. I say we're new friends (and she hates it when I introduce her this way, but I do it all the same because it's a visual nod to irony) but we really are old friends since we knew each other in high school because we were cheerleaders together. Which is why, when we went to go play Geeks who Drink the other night, (SIDE BAR: just went to their website where we are featured prominantly! SQUEEE!!!!) we chose our team name as Bulldogs. Because we could cheer ourselves on that way without having to learn new cheers or make them up. OBVIOUSLY.

Sharon is totally a smarty pants, and I absolutely was comfortable riding her coattails to stardom (although I did save your asses by my knowledge of all things Pee Wee Herman and I'm sorry Mama, I don't know my times tables but I do love me some Pee Wee) until the rankings were announced mid-game and WE WERE IN FIRST PLACE. Then I got my competitive on (Sharon's was already on) and we finished up ultimately in second place. Or as Rob called it "first loser" but he is crackers and we ignored that.

second placers get free blue moon glasses! (or they were having a give away. either one; take your pick, but i choose the first option.) it's the most useful trophy ever!
 

Being gracious second placers, we asked to take Olympic-esque photos with the winners of the evening. 

 

we are very patriotic. if we had won, sharon insisted on, and i agreed to, cheering 'who rocks the house? the bearden bulldogs rock the house' to the whole bar. and i noticed on their website that they identified us as newbies and associated us with GEORGIA bulldogs. not cool, geeks, not cool...

Lastly, I leave you with a text I just got from Regina. She says "This is not PMS talking. People r assholes."

(I think the PMS may be talking)

Over and out.