Me: Hey did you see the Olympics opening ceremony?
FFL: Yeah, I watched part of it.
Me: Am I the only one who thought that snowflake thing was on purpose? I thought it was kind of pretty. Like they were trying to do something new and fancy with the Olympic rings? I was kinda disappointed to hear it was just a mistake.
FFL: Well, all the other snowflakes turned into rings and that one didn't. That didn't tip you off?
Me: No. I thought it was pretty!
FFL: Yeah, then you were the only one.
Me: Oh but hey did you watch the women's slope snow boarding?
FFL: Yeah.
Me: Did you see that girl? From Canada?
FFL: The one with the stupid curls?
Me: YES. That is not an athlete's hair! She did that on purpose and she looked STUPID. The Roomstress and I kept saying she looked like those Jewish men but we couldn't think of what that word was.
FFL: HASIDIC!!! I KEPT SAYING THAT TO DANIEL. He just got mad because I wouldn't stop yelling at the TV the only words I knew in Yiddish.
Me: She rolled her hair, on purpose, put on her helmet and pulled out those curls. Wouldn't that get in your eyes when you're skidding down a mountain at 60 miles per hour?
FFL: I KNOW. She needs like a barrette or something.
Me: And did you see at the opening ceremony the US team?
FFL: Those awful costumes?
Me: NO. How those girls were wearing their toboggans on the back of their heads like those idiot girls in high school would wear their mortar boards at graduation - perpendicular to the ground so as not to mash their ginormous bangs? They were doing that with their toboggans! IT IS WINTER. IN RUSSIA.Pull your hat down on your head and act like somebody.
FFL: I just get annoyed when I see those judges being so damn judge-ey.
Me: I KNOW, RIGHT? That one snow boarder girl was getting all sorts of praise and accolades and on her last jump she landed and barely scraped the ground with her bottom and the judges were all like "AAWWWWW NOOOOOO!!!!" If that had been me doing that I would have been like "HOLY SHITBALLS YA'LL DID YOU SEE WHAT I JUST DID?"
FFL: I KNOW! And the ice skating? I'm sorry, but that girl just jumped up, off the ground, on the ice, and turned around, in the air, and landed without falling on her ass or breaking a bone. That, is SERIOUS skill.
Me: And I have been hearing words like "triple sow cow" or "double toe loop" for my entire life, and I'm here to tell ya, I couldn't pick one out of a lineup.
FFL: WHAT THE HELL IS A TWIZZLE?
Me: And how in the HELL are you supposed to count how many times they turn around in the air? I'm like HOLY SHIT that chick just jumped up off the ice, cleared the ground and twisted a bunch of times in the air and landed without a trip to Bust Ass City. The end. Who knows how many times she turned around? SHE WAS GOING TOO FAST TO TELL.
FFL: I have a feeling that the Olympics are not in our future.
In other news, you'll be delighted to know that the cold isn't keeping the stair crapper-uppers from their mission. Today on the stairs:
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| movies! at least they have good taste in flix. |
And that's all I got for today. Over and out!
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