What is wrong with you fools?

In the midst of merriment at the office holiday party, I took a few minutes to open my Christmas cracker. I mostly wanted the paper crown to wear, but I also wanted to see what my toy prize was.

Imagine my surprise when I found THIS monstrosity:

at first i was all - oh look a magic trick! then i read the directions. but when i got bored about halfway through, i realized i'd been DUPED.

What. The. Hell, ya'll. Some idiot tried to pass a math puzzle off as a GAME. In a CHRISTMAS CRACKER. SEE?

i'm pretty sure jesus wasn't born just so that we can do addition, dingbat.

Children of America! Do not fall for this frivolity and ridiculousness! Christmas is a time for mind-numbing, not MATH. I REBUKE YOU, CHRISTMAS CRACKER!

All I got for today. Over and out.