Signs, signs, signs....

Signs are important ya'll. They tell us where to go. They point us in the right direction. They certainly serve a purpose. So when you make a sign, it should be thoughtful and carefully planned out. And as I pointed out several months ago, a sign can take you out of a funk and make your day all over with sunshine and rainbows and unicorns. There is no time for foolishness. So help a gal out with a little something and explain the signs below to me. Because these just make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Or are just stupid.

i don't think one can logically use the words "live" and "killed" in the same breath. these are incongruous elements.

tell me why this is a sign? who does this help? because if the child cannot hear you it does not make sense to think you could drive quieter or louder to get his/her attention and since the one ton machine you're operating is likely already in motion so it's not as if you can.... i dunno WAVE to get attention when you go by - the CAR IS IN MOTION. and i have a feeling the child knows he is deaf and is likely to be on the lookout; why do we need this sign? and it's been there for a really long time - when this kid grows up is he gonna take this sign with him? because i'm pretty sure that's against the law to take down road signs. ok i googled it. nothing definitive, but i did learn how to actually take down a road sign. maybe i'll print that and laminate it and tape it to this sign so if this kid moves he'll have directions on how to get his sign so he can pack it. you're welcome, deaf child/possible adult.

the first time i saw this sign i was all like aw hellz yeah, this dumpster RULES!!! but then saw there were literal rules below it and thought my my... how very bossy and presumptuous of this dumpster to be telling me what to do. you are a dumpster! i don't have to listen to you! i put my trash in and you swallow!! evidently not. this dumpster means business. it don't take no crap from NO ONE. 

and of course, from boston - home of the cautious senior. 

This is less of a sign and more of a photo of a text message, but I thought it was hilarious and it makes me laugh every time I look at it, so enjoy:

daddy's really really really technologically challenged.

In other news, the other morning I was returning to town after Waffle House with friend Philippa when we stopped at a red light before getting on the interstate. When the traffic began to move, the doors to the truck flew open while the truck continued to speed up the on ramp in oblivion. Items in the back of the truck began to shift as the truck flew down I-40 and if you don't think I didn't follow that mother trucker and shriek "FALL OUT BOOTS!! FALL OUT FALL OUT!!!!!" while Philippa took pictures then you would be mistaken.

it was like spiderman boots or something. or they were made of anti-matter. it defied gravity that these boots did not go sailing out the back of this truck. 

Lastly, I'm going to expand my What the Hell is on the Stairs segment into a "What the Hell Wednesday" piece.

Now, I'm a pretty neat person. I clean with some regularity, I always fold the laundry and put it away when it's washed, I empty the dishwasher, I vacuum - whatever. You get the picture. But, you know how sometimes you'll go say, into the kitchen and think "HOLY SHIT. Who has been smashing open ketchup packets with hammers on the refrigerator? Because it's going to take a chisel and a Super Soaker of Clorox to get all that dried up mess off."

I had such a moment this morning. In today's What the Hell Wednesday:

there is a mushroom growing in my bathroom wall, kids. i could not have made this happen if i had tried with spores and mold or flakes or whatever the hell it is you need to make mushrooms grow. 

I didn't know what to do with it exactly, so I just left it. Do I pick it? Can I eat it? SHOULD I eat it because it is there? Should I call maintenance? Actually, I'm going to do that. (Note: in going to Google my building for the phone number I accidentally Googled "google." Does that happen much?) Oh thank God. The girl at the office has a sense of humor. I think that was totally her first mushroom emergency. And for me. Maintenance deployed.

And with that, What the Hell Wednesday is off with a bang. I'm outta here.

Over and out.