Possibly the best gift I ever received. And that's good. Because it keeps giving.

So a few weeks ago it was my birthday. And I had planned to take off a few hours early to greet some out of town guests (and to clean my very messy apartment) when I got a frantic text from Sharon saying "you're leaving early? WHEN? BECAUSE MAYBE SOMEONE WANTS TO BRING YOU SOMETHING." I told her to calm down and that I doubted that anyone was sending anything.

And then she showed up with this.

well hello kitty! life size, walking, inflatable kitty.

And yes. We all had a big laugh at Hello Kitty.

never mind me, just taking my kitty for a stroll.

you're here to see the president, sir? do you have an appointment?

Sharon was embarrassed because (rightfully so) the sweetheart who blew up HK at Ye Olde Party City who kept assuring her that HK could be re-inflated for only $7.99 because little girls sometimes got upset when their HK deflated.

Sharon didn't bother to tell her it was for a grown up lady. Again, rightfully so.

Naturally, HK came home to live with me and the Roomstress. And since she was now our official roommate, she didn't take kindly to all the house guests we were hosting for the weekend.

fish and house guests start to stink after three days HEATHER.

The second morning we had HK, I don't know what came over me... I'm not a prankster. I don't play tricks. But I got it in my noggin to hide HK in the Roomstress's shower. And was there when she found it. She screamed. Real loud. Twice. When I tried to say I was sorry, all the Roomstress said was OH NO YOU'RE NOT. And when I asked where HK was, she wouldn't tell me. But don't worry. I found her.

that's not a litter box, kitty!

One afternoon several days later, we came home to find that HK could levitate.

she's apoplectic. i know just how you feel kitty. sometimes i have to be scraped off the ceiling too.

We were fine with levi-kitty, but apparently she was not. 

kitty, your head came off! we spent the next few days a. trying to figure a way to get her head down, and b. with a decapi-kitty in the dining room.

And then... the inevitable happened...

oh kitty... you're really letting yourself go.

One morning, I woke in the middle of the night and heard rustling on the floor at the foot of my bed. Imagine my surprise when I peered over to find....

i have no idea how she got into my room. even more surprising? she was gone the next morning.

And then I got to thinking... Oh Hello Kitty.... you've been so much fun. I can't possibly say good-bye to you - not so soon. Not now! Not EVER.

And then I remembered.... the $7.99 re-inflation special. Or, as I prefer to call it, the $7.99 resurrection special.

kitty, rising from the dead.

Sharon was coming over to supper that night and Kitty was just dying to say hello again. It's in her nature.

patiently waiting for sharon to arrive

knock knock! who's there? kitty! kitty who? GINORMOUS KITTY BACK FROM THE DEAD THANKS TO ONE SPECTACULAR $7.99 RESURRECTION SPECIAL. Worth. Every. Cent. 

But, yet again... the inevitable once again set in.

KITTY! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEG?

oh. there it is.

kitty, you really got to pull yourself together. you can't just fall apart at the least little thing.

So there you have it. The Ballad of the Hello Kitty balloon. We may have to put her out to pasture soon. I think we should have a ceremonial burial.

In other news, I found this yesterday in a planter on Gay Street.

this is why you can't have nice things, knoxville.

All the news I got for now. Over and out.