Huh. Fancy that.

I was glancing at headlines today and noticed that one of the ads online in the local paper online was in Spanish and for a second I thought I was like that guy on the West Coast who woke up with amnesia and could only speak Dutch or something but instead of understanding another foreign language (which would be pretty cool, by the way - and amnesia would be too, except I wouldn't remember my Mama and that would be sad) I had a stroke or something and my brain was now making English look gibberishy but then I realized I could, in fact, read the article which was in English, and I was a little disappointed.

de donde es this bullshit, ya'll?

In other news, I finally had the first HOORAY moment about being divorced. (Actually, the first hooray moment about being divorced was never having to spend time with my ex-mother-in-law again and anyone who knows her will be like "MEGAN HOW DARE.... weeeellll, ok. You get a mulligan on being mean this time.") But I read online that ComiCon was going on in San Diego and I thought HOORAY! I never have to go to another ComiCon again! Although I basically didn't go to any ComiCons, I pretty much stayed up in the hotel room and watched HBO in bed on clean crisp white sheets and took baths while drinking wine and wasted all the clean fluffy white towels.

If there are any fangirls out there reading this, please please please for the love stop trying to dress up like sexy comic figures. JUST STOP. Red hair dye and green paint does not a Poison Ivy make. And if I go my whole life not seeing one more Catwoman who actually looks like Catwoman's unfortunate copycat baby sister that never got the memo that pleather bodysuits really only look good on people who don't eat I'll consider it all a life well-lived.

I have very low expectations, ya'll.

on the other hand this did happen once and it was pretty groovy

In additional other news, downtown Knoxville really needs to learn about locking their shit up. Especially unattended heavy equipment in parking lots.

i'm convinced i could learn to hotwire pretty quickly. i live with a librarian after all.

 

and i'm pretty sure i could learn to operate said heavy equipment especially when they print very helpful directions on the side.

In additional other downtown news, I'm going to start a segment on my blog called "What the hell is on the stairs today?" Because there's always something on the stairs. And it's never the same thing twice. I just don't understand who's putting all these things on the stairs. And where they get their inspiration from. The other day:

pennies and tacks. of course.

I. Just. Can't. Over and Out.