The Last Temptation of Megan and Halloween hijinks

Lot of ground to cover this week. Holiday season is ramping up! (For those of you that don't know - Halloween is a holiday too. Followed by Thanksgiving then Christmas. As far as I'm concerned you can start talking about Christmas anytime after Halloween and yes, I've already been listening to Christmas carols).

First things first. As a newly-minted divorcee, I can tell you that the dating scene sure has changed a lot in the last 20 years. Someone should invent things like band parties for grown-ups. But - texting has sure helped a lot - never will I again underestimate the power of a well-worded text! Although... I think the first text I sent one guy after our first date was along the lines of "Was that a date? Did we just go on a date? PLEASE SAY IT WAS A DATE OR I MAY CRY." so obviously I'm doing the whole "back on the market" thing well. I'm learning. But nothing in the wheelhouse in my past dating life or crash course I've had this summer could have prepared me for what one gentleman caller shared with me.... Dipsey Doodle! Look away now!

I mean it, Dipsey!

You can't un-see this!

(OK I think he's gone now)

dj smith's tonsils. adenoids included. haha look at that pumpkin in the background - he's happy 'cause he's not the scariest thing in the room.

Oh and yes, please don't think I don't get the irony in taking time out of my busy busy life and spending money on things like changing my last name only start dating a man with the same last name as I just got rid of. HA HA HA. Actually it's for the best that I changed my name because we've know each other for years and we both got in the habit of calling each other "Cousin Smith" and this is East Tennessee after all and besides the first man I want to marry as a little girl was my cousin Greg and SHUT UP. IT'S FINE; he ended up marrying instead:

dorothy gayle. can't say as that i blame him.

I have to say, campus has really been testing my inner strength recently. The other day I came across this little baby:

i'm tempted to caption this "why the hell is this here?" but honestly a surprise merry-go-round is an awesome thing so i'm not complaining. dj smith offered to trailer it to my loft behind his minivan but all he had to hook it up with was a coat hanger to his bumper and even IIIII know that's ridiculous so said  thanks but no thanks. besides, even though i'm pretty sure it'd fit in the living room i'm quite confident that it wouldn't go through the doorway and whoever heard of a hallway carousel? NO ONE, that's who.

That didn't stop me from riding it while it was here though.

merry go megan!

and i even brought a friend along for the ride!

Furthering the Last Temptation of Megan was this rather large baby:

it took all my will power not to run over there and jerk off that sheet.

it was hiding a dinosaur. they're calling it the largest and newest volunteer on campus but frankly i saw jurassic park and i know dinosaurs aren't that tiny. and at first i thought it was real bones and was like 'why are they putting that outside? has no one heard of acid rain?' and was disappointed to learn it was a bronze statue. way to psyche me out, ut. friend kristi and i marvel at the tiny pretend dinosaur.

but i did run into friend lola and we are dressed as twinkies, down to our orange pants and leather jackets!

Oh, and just because it's fun:

so so so so SO many things i want to caption this, but i think i'll settle with "what's your name?" "puddintain."

Now! To Halloween fun! Friend and neighbor Sharon and I threw and epic Halloween party! She even tore her ACL whilst dropping da bootie and is currently on crutches (this is distinctly a bad thing. Although if one HAD to tear an ACL, while cutting a mad rug is the way to make it go down.)

Doctor examining Sharon: Let's take a look at this, shall we, Ms. Deaver? Hmmm... Interesting, interesting.... Can you tell me how this happened?

Sharon: I was grinding with Mary Poppins and fell.

Anyway - Sharon and I have been planning this Halloween party for months. We both discovered over the summer that our favorite Disney princess is Alice (she had named her dog Alice as a matter of fact) and I am realizing that my affinity to Alice has been heightened tremendously over the last year because most of the time I really have felt like I've taken a tumble down the rabbit hole. I even have recently read a book called "What Alice Forgot" about a grown up Alice in Wonderland who wakes up with amnesia to find out that she is 40 years old and divorcing the love of her life and can't remember why. That book resounded pretty hard. Sharon was the Queen of Hearts a few years ago for Halloween and still had the costume she made, so we recruited the Roomstress and one Mad Hatter later we had:

a match made in wonderland

So many people went all out with their costumes! I was thrilled with the party and danced myself ragged until the early morning. So much fun!

a lot of disney represented in the hizzy

matthew as buffalo bill with precious in his skin suit offers mama as hello kitty some lotion out of his basket

speaking of mama, she was truly disturbed when i described these two characters to her and the scenes which they were representing. buffalo bill and mrs. mia wallace.

cathy a la lichtenstein and me

nun maria and scary circuit preacher rob

jen and me - aptly captioning this: girl. you wouldn't believe the shit i've seen in my days.

sharon's folks, ty and bebo

me and philippa as philippa's familiar

sharon was all 'off with her head!!!!' to me all night long

but then we made up and played some croquet

fore!

But the best costume I saw was the next morning at breakfast:

john as a cruz dairy farm girl. well played, sir. how very knoxville of you.

Fun night and great time with family and friends.

A few days ago, I attended a beer dinner. And yes, I saw the menu beforehand. And yes. I know I have the palate of a nine year old. And YES. I knew it was going to be a challenge. I took friend Cathy along with me not knowing:

she has a similar palate. we went to mcdonald's after.

The best part of the evening was the two of us sneakily eyeing each other as each dish was served to see if they other would take a bite first and what their reaction would be. All I'll say is this: foie gras PB and J with foie gras ice cream was the dessert. I ate duck ice cream, ya'll. 

But Cathy and I both got corsages out of the deal so all was well.

Well, that's all I got for this week! Happy Halloween Eve, everyone!

Over and OUT!